


destroy me

by fishysama



Series: goretober 2019!!! [8]
Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Beating, Bruises, Bullying, Childhood, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Gen, Goretober, Goretober 2019, Inspired by Art, Light Angst, Mild Blood, hurting usage is fun fergtrfet, which is what this is about (dabbing emoji)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-28 04:18:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20960354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishysama/pseuds/fishysama
Summary: goretober day 8: destroy meaki had a rough day at school :((inspired bythis)





	destroy me

Had he told them “destroy me,” would they have done so? Or was the violence simply an act of rebellion, of disobedience? Akihiko thinks it sadism, although he has yet to hear the word. He knows its meaning though, a violence provided for the pleasure of the perpetrators.

He knows sadism when he looks in the mirror on his arrival home, nose bleeding and tears gushing from his eyes; he almost feels pity for himself, the reflection of his appearance. He often thinks about how you are never able to look at your own face, eye-to-eye, no reflection, refraction, or flipping. Maybe that’s why the other boys saw fun in beating him: the Akihiko that Akihiko himself often saw was a false one after all. The boys saw his true form.

Either that or they were pure sadists. There isn’t much of a gray area between the two.

It has been almost an hour since the beating: the pipes, the fists, the sharp knives to threaten, the sharper words to lacerate. It’s been almost an hour, yet the events are still playing out in Akihiko’s mind. He can feel their fists still striking as he watches himself bleed in the mirror; he can hear their voices calling him cruel words (words that were true no matter how much Akihiko didn’t want to believe them) while the only real sounds were those of Tanaka-san asking if he was okay from the other side of the locked bedroom door.

He watches himself cry, out of tissues and out of ways to console himself from doing so. Suzuki-san is held tight to his chest as if sewn to his body with wire. He leans up against the toy, rubbing his battered cheeks on tan fur. Blood makes rivers in the plush. Akihiko feels guilty, and maybe even more upset, at the present staining of his favorite bear, but at the same time, he does not care. He’s far too preoccupied with the mirror and his fresh memories to deal with any other thoughts.

“Akihiko-sama, please let me get you help.”

And Akihiko whimpers softly, unable to say “yes” or “no” or whatever was appropriate in the scenario. He thinks about saying “destroy me” some time in the past, mulls over it. He wants to see the look in their eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://juroguro.tumblr.com/)


End file.
